Thursday, August 25, 2022
If you found yourself south of El Dorado in the Badlands South in Saints Row you might have come across a riddle on a monolith, surrounded by floating rocks. If you want to see, said monolith, head to El Dorado’s “Go Kart Go!” store and go directly south, just to the east of the small body of water there (basically in between the two Weather Stations down there).
The riddle on the monolith reads:
Find the fork,Along the road north,Swing left from the twin bricks,Jump once,If you jump twice, you've gone too far,Broken wagon is right,Down you go,Once you crest and Santo Ileso is in view,Right on the main,Wrap around the boulder,Take a left,Follow the dirt north into the canyon,Stay left and howl at the moon, twice After you tinkle you'll find a shack,Wait till sundown,Bring a bat,Wear something pink,Don't forget $20!
Let’s run you through how to solve this.
First things first, you need two things to solve this riddle. Firstly, a bat. You can get one of these from a Friendly Fire in town. Chances are you’ll have received one as a reward from a mission though if you’ve been playing long enough.
Secondly, you need to wear something pink, which you can do by changing the colours on your clothes. To make sure we were prepared, we dyed everything pink. Just to make sure.
Right, now you’re prepared, let’s start the hunt. Before we crack on, it should be said that there are two “forks” in Santo Ileso. And by forks, we don’t actually mean forks in the road, we mean giant novelty forks, as in cutlery. There is one in the Badlands South at the Route 66 stop there, and one also at the Route 66 stop in Rojas Desert South, near Ringers. This latter one is the one we want.
From there you want to follow the main highway north and follow the road until you come to 2 brick pillars (one either side of the road). As the riddle says, “swing left” and head along the dirt road.
This next section takes you through an old abandoned mill of sorts. The first jump that the riddle references is the broken bridge in front of you. Take that jump and then head up the hill into the main part of the abandoned structure. At the crest of the hill you will see another jump - off a corrugated roof - just after a fork in the road. See that broken wagon at the fork? That’s your cue to go right. Follow the riddle and go down the hill and straight ahead and as the riddle says “once you crest and Santo Ileso is in view” you’re going to want to head right. “Right on main” being the main road.
Once you’ve headed right on main you’re going to follow this ride for a fair distance. The one thing you have to do here is stay on the main road. Do not deviate. You’ll know you’re on the right road as there’ll be a sharpish bend with a boulder on your left. Straight after this bend, when you come to a T-junction, head left, as the riddle says. Immediately after that left you’re going to want to take another left onto a dirt road. As the riddle says: “Follow the dirt north into the canyon.”
Once you pass through the canyon you’ll see a stop right ahead. This is the same rest stop that has the Fast Travel there, as well as the ‘Twin Coyote Arcade’. Yes, this is the “howl at the moon, twice” reference that the riddle is referring to. Clever! If you head round the back you’ll see a portaloo at the back, near a shack. This refers to “After you tinkle you’ll find a shack.” And that is your end destination.
If you head down in the day you’ll find a UFO down there, but the clue says to wait until “sundown”. Which we did. And wearing pink and with a bat, with more than $20 too. So far, that doesn’t appear to do anything.
We’ve also bought the $10,000,000 “Special” from the “Everything Costs a Million Dollars” store that literally turns you into money and that didn’t work either. We also went there with only $20, which considering we had $15 million at the time, was no easy feat! Nothing. We went there after sundown, during sunset. Nothing. We tried the Batman-esque cap we got from a mission. We’ve Googled other meanings for $20, like Andrew Jackson being on a $20 bill. Nothing. We’ve looked for a petticoat because of the whole Andrew Jackson petticoat affair. Nothing. We’ve hit the UFO with the bat. We’ve tried buying and wearing the bat wingsuit too. Nothing. We’ve knocked the lights out with the bat next to the UFO. Nothing. There is a small orange tinted mist at night localised to the west of the shack that we feel might have something to do with it, but have tried the above there too (even wingsuiting in with the bat wingsuit). Still nothing.
We’ve tried a lot of different ways and still… nothing.
We’ll keep trying and when or even if we unlock the secrets of the UFO we’ll report back. Heck, it could be a big troll by Deep Silver Volition though. Imagine them laughing now while we spent the day trying the above. Ha, good one, folks! Maybe the prize is finding the UFO! Either way, solving the riddle was cool and you get to see a UFO, so there’s that at the very, very least. Still…