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Why A: CM sucks (joke)


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I got bored and made this definitive list, and yes, it's a joke :) I actually like this game.

 

A list of why this game sucks:

 

  • 80s style monitors in-game, what the hell, they should all be on windows 8 by now
     
  • Bad dialogue... None of the aliens talk
     
  • Nowhere to buy stuff, I can't barter with the aliens for some good things on sale, stranger!
     
  • There isn't a pinball machine in the command center
     
  • Most of the locations are already blown up = thanks for beating the game for me already, cast of Aliens 1986!
     
  • Duke Nukem isn't in it AT ALL
     
  • No balls of steel
     
  • No in-game lemonade stands
     
  • The dolls head I found in the sewer had no body, what the hell, am I rescuing poor kids or something?
     
  • The scene with the singing dancing alien isn't in the campaign, so I was mis-sold the game
     
  • An alien screws the chick before I can
     
  • That sewer level with lots of piano playing aliens and no pianos, cheap developers not including all the props
     
  • NOWHERE in the game can I ride the Weyland Yutani tricycle, thanks for ruining my life gearbox

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Actually plenty to complain about in the game. I mean, when those "Empire Strikes Back" Startroopers showed up I was expecting to see Darth Vader and he never appeared! LMAO

 

Like you, though, I enjoyed the game, glad I picked it up (and Stasis Interrupted for 100%) for a song on the PSN Halloween Sale. Had a good co-op partner and we breezed through it!

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